“You Can Never Fully Be Part of a Culture if You Don’t Know the Language"

For many third-culture individuals, identity is less certain and more so a process of exploration. In our conversation with this Indonesian-born student of Chinese descent, ROOTS delved into what it means to be multicultural, especially considering growing up between cultures, and eventually coming to terms with this mixed identity.

Describing herself as “nationally Indonesian and ethnically Chinese,” she traces her family history back to a great-grandfather born in China. 

“I don’t feel like I belong to either Indonesian or Chinese backgrounds. I’m not fully Indonesian, nor am I fully Chinese,” she explains. 

Her upbringing further complicates these categories. While English was her first language and she attended a European school in Indonesia— an environment that taught her to embrace herself “ as an individual” — she notes that family traditions and viewpoints also taught her the importance of valuing the “working community” and her “family,” both collectivist and filial notions often associated with both Indonesian and Chinese cultures. 

Food also became a strong anchor and a core part of her identity, a core aspect that she associates with being a part of a larger family and community. Indonesian cuisine, in particular, evokes a sense of familiarity, while Chinese cuisine illuminates less of this feeling. “Indonesian cuisine and foods are really comforting,” she remarks. “For Chinese food, I don’t eat it as often.” 

Separate from these core reminders of her culture, the student mentions that language remains the most defining and limiting factor in her self-conceptualisation of her cultural identity. While she can speak Indonesian, Mandarin never became a familiar tongue. “I can’t speak it at all,” she says when asked about her relation to Mandarin. 

“You can never really fully be a part of a culture if you don’t know the language.” 

This realization was difficult at first. When she was a child, she notes that she believed her identity was fully Chinese; later on, she realised she “didn’t completely belong in that community” based on experiences and cultural exposure growing up. This was further exemplified by her movement to Singapore, a nation with diverse cultural populations, where she found that she didn’t really belong to either the Indonesian or the Chinese groups. 

There were moments of frustration she felt, the feeling of not belonging to either culture from her heritage. The example she gives of when she lived in Indonesia, she explains that a sense of comfort originated from the local community, where she felt that “at least there were some people who understood where I was coming from.”

Touching on coping with this sense of alienation, the student shared insights into her journey to her acceptance and ability to adjust according to her diverse background. “ I’ve accepted that I don't have to be 100% in one community. For example, there's an Indonesian community in the UWC school, and though I'm not completely Indonesian. I still feel like I belong.” 

She shares the strength she feels in accepting this dual identity, one that is unique to her experiences and viewpoints, “ I think I've accepted at this point that I'm not either one and that's okay, and quite powerful at the same time.” 

In embracing the ambiguity of belonging, her story reveals how identity can become a source of quiet strength rather than something that demands resolution, exemplifying the idea that identity doesn’t have to be unified or rigid, but rather, something fluid and a vibrant mix of ideas and values.