I’ve always told others that I love to write. I love writing and immersing myself in another world, pouring my imagination and daydreams into writing, and crafting words for others to read. But I didn’t think I loved it enough to dedicate all my time to it. I barely created time for writing, instead opting to study. I pushed writing to the back of my mind, leaving it to rot. How could I do that if I loved it? Many of my peers were already set on their passions, such as engineering and mathematics. They were taking up classes and extracurriculars that aligned with their interests, preparing for the future with a sureness that I envied. I chose to do what I felt interested in. Not a blazing fire, just a little flame that flickers precariously. When my mom sat me down and demanded my interests, I knew I didn’t have any. She disliked my decision to apply to creative writing summer programs, arguing that it was just a silly hobby that had carried into my later years and should be dropped immediately. She pointed out all my well-scoring classes had some relationship with STEM, thus I should study STEM.I didn’t know what to do. She stormed away upon hearing my response. I was desperate to make her happy, even if that meant I would have to pretend to be interested in artificial intelligence or anything similar. Despite being unhappy with my decision, I didn’t think I would be happy with any decisions I made, at least for now.
But I think that’s alright. Without entirely committing myself to a specific subject, I’ve had time to explore different activities and clubs, learn about various fields, and dabble in a little bit of everything that might eventually lead me to something I truly enjoy. In a society that constantly pressures us to “find our passion”, it’s refreshing to let curiosity guide me. Even without a clear direction, there’s freedom in not being tied down to one path, and I’ve come to appreciate that.I've learned to not rush myself, which makes me more vulnerable to pressure from family and peers or the urge to follow trends instead of doing what truly excites me. Passion is also a long-term commitment, meaning that choices that are made too quickly can lead to regret, burnout, and a loss of interest. I've realized that taking my time helps me avoid wasting effort on paths that don’t truly fulfill me, allowing me to recognize better opportunities I might have otherwise overlooked
Ultimately, I’ve realized that not having a defined passion right now is neither a weakness nor a flaw; it’s an opportunity. It’s a chance to explore, grow, and stay open to new possibilities. I still hope that I will find something I truly enjoy soon, but for now, I’m enjoying my peace of mind.
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